How A Dream Cured A School Phobia

 
8 Ideas Newsletter, How A Dream Cured A School Phobia June 2008,  InnerResources Counseling and Publications  InnerRESOURCES Counseling and Publications Have A Question About Our  Counseling Services? (click here) How A Dream Cured A School Phobia Jeff Landau, Ph.D. Everything Is Just Fine Little Jimmy was in the middle of it. He had felt strong about himself but now he was not so sure. His mother and father had been fighting for years but he thought, ”it was just the way it is.” Separation and Divorce Then one day his father moved out, not too far away. He felt the jolt but things didn’t change too much. They still saw each other as often as before and pretty much on the same schedule, so he was buffered from any jarring disruption. Trouble At School In the past little Jimmy had acted out his anger in the therapy session. Now he and I were getting along just fine. But he began to act out at school. He became disruptive. Not violent or threatening, but he got your attention in ways you just didn’t want. He was getting more negative attention and his mother was getting more contact from his teachers and administrators.1 Frozen Heart2 In one of his therapy sessions, Jimmy was lying down on the couch. He tapped his heart and mentioned that it was frozen.3 “You know what my mother used to say to me?” “No what”. She said, “Jeff if you keep making a face like that it might freeze like that forever.” “That’s what my mother says to me!” Then little Jimmy gently tapped his heart again and said, “I can warm this heart up any time I want” “Well, you know if you keep your heart frozen too long it may not be so easy to unfreeze. You better keep it on cool rather than frozen.” School Phobia At about this time little Jimmy developed a school phobia. It was also about this time that there was a new shift in the family. His parents began to socialize. And his father moved to a new location, much farther away. He just didn’t want to get up in the morning and get out of bed and go to school. He fought with his mother. He reluctantly tried to go. He would approach the area of the school, experience increased amounts of anxiety and then return home. Treatment Attempts Jimmy and I discussed the matter from a problem oriented view, and asked if there was a problem with other students or “others” at the school or in the area of the school. We looked at the issues from an analytic separation point of view, that his father had moved too far away. We tried an operational behavior approach and imagined a series of events and attempted relaxation to the imagery. We also enlisted his mothers assistance by getting her to walk him to school and asked her to be soothing, to keep him calm, and find out what was on his mind as he approached the school.4 Nothing worked for very long. The Solution Jimmy’s Dream: The Chocolate Croissant The pressure grew. Little Jimmy was feeling the heat. Fear and threat were everywhere. He had pushed things to the edge. His mother was going to “punish him”, no camp, no toys, no computer no TV e.t.c. His father made it very clear that he wanted Jimmy to go to school and that he had to get to school. He also told Jimmy’s mother to “fix this”. Then, in the midst of all this turmoil, Jimmy went to sleep and had a dream about a chocolate croissant. He awoke earlier than usual, very hungry, starving, and with the image of a chocolate croissant on his mind. It was very early. Quite a bit earlier than usual. He got out of bed and went downstairs to a local store to buy the chocolate croissant. Once at the store and munching on the croissant, he noticed that he wasn’t that far from school. So he went to school early, much earlier than usual. He stayed in school the whole day without incident. On the next day he again got up earlier than usual and went to school again, and then again on the next day and the next. And that was the end of the school phobia problem.5 One more thing. Little Jimmy is back to causing me trouble in our therapy sessions, moaning and groaning and acting “disrespectful” to me. Oh well. We’re back to “acting in” instead of “acting out.” I think. EndNotes  Exercises and Questions Are There Any Warning Signs About Problems Going On In Your Family? Are your children creating a blinking yellow or blinking red light, a warning sign that your attention is required. Are you feeling too overwhelmed and somewhat hopeless about this? Is there anything you might be able to do to help solve the problem? What is your relation to your children’s teachers? Do you know them? Meet with them? How do you feel about teachers? Do you happen to recall how things were for you when you went to school? Were you having these types of issues? How do you feel about school? Do you have thoughts about what you would like for your children’s future? How does school play into it? What is the “anger and tension level” at home? Would you like to bring it down a notch? Do you think, “that’s just the way it is?” or can you help to create a new pattern? Are you feeling angry too much of the time? or just too overwhelmed to think about it? How might you create some space for some new feelings? Have you tried? What happened? Have A Question About Our Counseling Services? (click here) or call 212-288-3775 ©2008 InnerRESOURCES Counseling and Publications Publications and Newsletter Archives Poems From InnerRESOURCES 8 Ideas 8 Ideas Newsletter, Idea #1 The Compulsion To Repeat The Past, How Did I Get Here Again?/PDF, InnerResources Publications, May, 2008 8 Ideas Newsletter, A Promise To Point You In The Right Direction, InnerResources Publications, March 2008 8 Ideas Newsletter, Idea #2  Is There A Right Person, Happy Valentine’s Day, InnerResources Publications, February, 2008 8 Ideas Newsletter, Talking, Communicating, and Knowing Empathy, How Does Analysis Cure? 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